Boyfriend/Husband Instalation

I showed Brian this email Judy sent me and we really laughed hard

NSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as

NBA 5.0,
NFL 3.0 and
Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,
Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.HTML, try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0update.
If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
Cooking 3.0 and
Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!
Tech Support

Funnies

Judy always sends me some funny emails every week. She sent me this one and I really got a kick out of it :)

AN IRISH BLONDE IN A CASINO

An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice.

She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude'.

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, 'Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!'

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...'YES! YES! I WON, I WON!'

She hugged the dealer and each of the players and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, 'What did she roll?'

The other answered, 'I don't know - I thought you were watching.'

MORAL OF THE STORY -

Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, but all men...are men.

Oh Boy

Well, a couple weeks ago I went to run an errand after work one Friday afternoon and came out and my car wouldn't start! I called my dad and he and my mom said they would come get me. I also called my fix it man and he came new exactly what was the problem and fixed it in like two minutes. We all went to dinner and when we got back to my car it wouldn't start until Brian did his little trick. The next morning Brian just shows up with the parts and fixes my car for me :) Well all was well and fine until tonight. It wouldn't start again! This time he says it is the starter and not just the cylonoid (spelling?). AND.... my muffler is falling apart. My little car with 169,000 miles on it is starting to get sick. And I get on to update my blog and my background is gone! What the Heck!! What a day. Time for bed!

It's not Stealing?...

I am now a blog steeler. I was on my friends blog today and she had this and I loved it so I am also putting it in mine. Sorry Hil :)

45 Lessons in Life

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step

3. Life is too short to waste time hating someone

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick, your friends and parents will, so stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement. Starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate. Resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with the past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret. You shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath, it calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful, or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a second childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, and then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age, wear purple now.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words. "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone and everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business...

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

37. Your children only get one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you are loved.

39. Get outside everyday. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we threw all our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time; you already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, get dressed, and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

MY BEST FRIEND!!

Well.... Many of you haven't heard the news about my best friend. We met in the beginning of November. It should have been sooner tsk tsk NICHOLE!!! :) Well over this last summer my really good friend Nichole was telling be about her fiances best friend "fuzzy." She kept saying that she wanted us to get together and go out and she was going to get things hooked up and we were going to be going on a double date soon. Well that never happened. With as stubborn as I am I was going to have my way. So here is the story... After much anticipation of meeting this boy I took matters into my own hands. At Nichole's bridal shower we got talking about him and so that very day I went home and did the BYU-I thing and wrote on his facebook wall. Let's just say he isn't very good at that. My friend Melissa was in Brian's (Fuzzy's, but I NEVER call him that) ward so I decided I would go to church with her :) I am so sneaky. I met him and from the first time I saw him I knew that he was the one. So we went to sunday school and we strategically sat by him and his roommate Anthony. Brian just walked right out after sunday school and didn't even say anything that lil' booger! I was hoping for a phone number or something! Tuesday night I got a text from an unknown number saying that it was Anthony and his brother was coming up this next weekend and wondered if I would go on a blind date with him. I am really not a fan of blind dates but I thought it would be a great way to see Brian again.( No offense to Anthony or his brother :)) So friday came and I saw Brian in the MC and he said he was coming so I was all excited. When showing up at their apartment Friday night, Brian and Jason were in shorts and sandals and needless to say they didn't go with us. Brian said he got stood up and I wanted to say well that's what you get for not asking ME!!! The date was fun and I got home pretty early. I get this text saying how was your date and how come you didn't come back and say hi. It was Brian.... We talked all night long and the next day. Anthony's brother was still in town so we didn't think that it would be kind to go out with him still there. So the next day we made sugar cookies and played games. I knew from the very first time I saw him, the first time we started talking, and our very first 'hang-out' that I wanted to marry that boy. Since then I have seen my best friend, at least for a few minutes, every day that we have both been in town since we met. ANYWAYS... saturday Brian took me snow biking. I was so nervous. I thought he would see the way I handle motorcycles and be like no way can I marry this girl. But it was really fun! I actually feel way more comfortable on a bike than a sled. So he gave me a little riding lesson and bailed off the back and I did my own thing. Hope I didn't break the bike haha. I got back and I was ready for a break! Brian always records things when he goes riding, so when he started playing with his helmet cam I didn't think much of it. He was like hey come here, and you can imagine what happened next. My ring is absolutely beautiful. I love it. I am so happy to marry my best friend. I could go on and on about all the amazing things he does for me and why I love him, but I wont. :)